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Post by melodeous on Mar 20, 2011 17:29:40 GMT -5
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Post by melodeous on Mar 19, 2011 22:36:48 GMT -5
pwfirst, thanks for the concise review and the load of positive feedback. I do appreciate the dissection, compliments and your well-made points about the weaknesses. I have since revamped the structure a bit but have yet to record it as such.
Voice. Good call. I am rather distant and top-of-the-throat in this song. I'll try another recording and get some more chest into it.
Ending. Yea, right again. I struggled with this. The song is long already and I didn't want to saturate the audience with the melody any longer. The only change I've done is close the last line with two chords, D and Em, versus the sustained Em the original closes with. Any ideas/suggestions? I will try them whatever they are. Thanks again.
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Post by melodeous on Mar 19, 2011 14:14:05 GMT -5
Have to listen to it a few more times. Are you sure you want feedback? I have a diploma in writing so I can be a heartless bitch of a critic sometimes, lol. But I'll listen more and see what I can come up with. Don't worry, it's always constructive criticism. Go for it. I minored in creative writing (can't'cha tell?) and majored in a subject requiring strong technical writing skills. That said, the who, what, when, where and why, with an audience firmly in focus, comprise the core of writing. Folks typically get that down pretty well when they swap stories with or without cognitive awareness of it. It's just basic, good communications. The classroom academics are really nothing more than the above elements present in good story telling and collected into various texts on the subject. Can't be any different because, historically speaking, good story telling far predates the halls of academia. If the story is good it doesn't require a degree to know it.
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Post by melodeous on Mar 14, 2011 19:14:56 GMT -5
Hmmm. Off-the-shelf, blister packaged and occasionally on Blue Light Special. C'mon writers, don't let me down here. Try structural ploys that contain rhymes that are there but not necessarily stamped at the end of each second line. Don't rhyme. It isn't necessary 100% of the time. The listener isn't going to brain-check you if you don't follow the Singer Easy Sewing Method of stitching together songs from happy little patterns. Lean on crutches long enough and they'll be your best fans. Stop, think, change it up, put it away, let it come on its own and write from feelings, not books. Mama Inspiration doesn't accept invitations, visits when she's a mind to, and most times leaves before the party is over. But, she's still the finest lady I've ever occasioned to meet.
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Post by melodeous on Mar 14, 2011 19:01:50 GMT -5
Thanks foxglove. That's certainly the prize in the Cracker-jack box I wasn't expecting. No critical breakdown of the piece? Suggestions? Dislikes? No glass jaw here. Let me start - structure could be better, voice is kinda teen-ish, lyrical message a bit disturbing and bordering on stereo-typing of the "Father" antagonist, and stuff...
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Post by melodeous on Mar 13, 2011 12:36:03 GMT -5
Great tune and I have to say you have some word-smithy skills going on there.
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Post by melodeous on Mar 13, 2011 12:21:25 GMT -5
About newly blooded vets returning from a first tour and the emotional conflicts some, not all, grapple with. This is a departure for me from my usually fluffy stuff about love lost, gained or in limbo. I know these boards can be pretty vanilla and guarded about telling it like it is. Not looking for that. This recording has its clams but I'm asking for a "critical review" if you have a mind to and a few moments. I'm not nervous, self-righteous, or otherwise sensitive to honesty of any temperament. Thanks in advance. www.box.net/shared/0k5bbpes29Behold The Man One day left Going home Try to leave The beast behind Look around What to take A couple bags Of countless souls Think about What they know If they pry It's easier to stay Chorus 1 A little girl A sister’s love Her brother’s gone I’m all that’s left Mother knows Killer’s eyes A soldier’s son A father’s pride Try to fit Find a job Make it work I’ve got to try Meaningless Days and nights Trying to feel When I was alive Trembling hands Racing mind Troubled eyes Telling what’s inside Chorus 2 Giving up Moving out Better alone Hiding why I hide Mother knows Killer’s eyes A soldier’s son A father’s pride Outro One day left Going back The child is gone Behold the man
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New Toy
Mar 13, 2011 12:09:04 GMT -5
Post by melodeous on Mar 13, 2011 12:09:04 GMT -5
Good intel. I was looking at the Line 6 (great reviews) for a possible system. I did have an older AT system that worked okay but I traded it for something I needed more.
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Post by melodeous on Mar 13, 2011 11:24:12 GMT -5
Good question. My best answer is any time I have the time to sit with a guitar. It's even better when I'm involved in some collaborations and the creativity is elevated by the spirited input of the contributors. Typically, I write music for lyricists. That's a gas. Comping lyrics gifts me the mood, expression and context of a melody, meaning, the lyrics decide the melody in most instances. But, getting back to the question, when I write both lyrics and melody it's often charged by stopping everything, writing a poem about something and then comping from there. Melody comes easily to me. Lyrics are the servants of subjects/topics and after the latter hits me strongly enough the resulting song comes much easier.
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Post by melodeous on Jul 5, 2010 16:48:58 GMT -5
Quick one liner - "Yea, but besides that how'd you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln?"
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Post by melodeous on Jul 4, 2010 12:24:11 GMT -5
First, let me say one thing I've learned since attaining the double nickel age. Writing isn't an event. It's more than that. It goes well beyond the act of sitting down and turning everything off to concentrate on writing. It's a symbiotic part of your life where you begin to use your senses in a way that are much more attuned to all the events, people, weather, seasons, time, situations, moods, successes and failures, struggles and comforts and all that you encounter both remarkable and subtle in your lives. Its easy to let the daily routine and settled-in complacency desensitize you and put a sort of numbness on your senses. Eyes don't see, ears don't listen, skin doesn't feel, etc, in the way they might if asked to.
I have two young sons - 11 and 16 - and when we go out I pay attention to what they notice around them. I'll ask if they saw this or heard that while we're either traveling in the car, at the store, etc. It's amazing what they miss that would otherwise have been acquired knowledge - useful or not - from the world within their grasp. So, I keep harping on them to pay attention (it's free) and try to remain aware of their surroundings wherever they go. It's their (your) world, learn and absorb it. If you've ever read great books they usually deliver to you your own world in a manner that's most entertaining. All good works of fiction, fact and fantasy revolve around a central core reference that embraces everyone's sense of the familiar and then takes the reader on a journey or excursion from it but never leaves it completely. That's why good writers make their lives an exercise of absorbing every detail. They do come in handy. Okay, so much for Creative writing 101. The point is writing demands that the senses remain alert and once that becomes part of your make-up, the world opens up and becomes much more self-entertaining if nothing else.
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Post by melodeous on Jul 4, 2010 11:41:24 GMT -5
Collaborations I've participated in are pretty simple. One person throws out some lyrics, or a line, and others complete the song with their own lines. That gets the lyrics done. Then someone, anyone, everyone write the lyrics into song. From there other instruments are added and eventually the thing gets done. In the process the song is put up in its various stages and critiqued. It goes back to the studio a couple times and taken there by whomever can do the work.
For my part, I've either supplied the lyrics or wrote the song using someone else's lyrics. Any other embellishments I've always left to others to work in because I really do suck at recording. That said, I try to record a loud, clean version of the song and then give it to whomever is going to take it from there.
This is a simple lyric I wrote a couple days ago - kinda sappy - but it's in a meter that's easy to work with and doesn't ask for heavy input. Anyway, the first submittal usually gets the ball rolling. Changes to the lyrics are fine if they suit the making of the song and maintain its message. Once done, those who collaborate own the song and are credited accordingly.
This Old Friend
I tried to sing a song for her It was early evening light The words were just too hard to say But this old friend made it right He sang the best he could and all In his sweetest voice He let me off so easily As if he had a choice
She dropped her eyes and let a tear Fall upon my arm I got choked up and lost my words So he just kept playing on And he played to her as if alone And he sang so pleasantly He sang the words I couldn’t find So free and faithfully
This old friend will always be A better part of me She often asks for him to sing His songs of tranquility She listens for his songs of love She loves to hear his voice He moves us both so easily As if he has a choice
I’m older now and learned a lot About myself from him He’s more than just a guitar to me He’s my balance deep within I guess I owe him for his gift To play a simple song I guess I owe him more than that He helps me get along
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Post by melodeous on Jul 4, 2010 10:37:58 GMT -5
Welcome Melodeous!! Glad to have you around. Good post too. I play a little acoustic when called upon and I do find it more difficult to get consistently good clean intonated lines. It makes you work harder that's for sure. I did all the acoustic work on my band's first CD. Mostly just chordal stuff. None of the Tommy Emanuel type virtuoso stuff. T he guys wanted me to but I told them I didn't want to show off and create a new acoustic sensation and have to deal with all the fame and fortune and stuff. That and I can't do it. ;D[/quote] Thanks for the welcome. What...TE not your style? Seriously, that guy is scary. I would like to see what he'd do in an all electric band. I think his name would sky rocket. That's not his style but I'm just sayin'.
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Post by melodeous on Jul 4, 2010 10:18:34 GMT -5
The luthier who does all of my guitars put a new nut in my Yamaha acoustic to help with the Intonation on my G string, It was noticeable on some of the higher barr chords. He did this by adjusting the contact point where the strings rest on the nut. While this doesn't give you as much adjustment as one the saddle it can correct some of the problems. Changing saddles can really change the sound of your guitar for the better and for the worse so be careful working on them on acoustic guitars. That's the first I've ever heard anyone adjusting intonation in that manner. Intonation is typically done at the saddle, as we've spoken of here. The nut is always cut with the slots slightly ramped (angled) down with the lowest depth on the tuning head side. This leaves the slots with their highest string contact points right where they exit the nut at the first fret, and this is also the point luthiers use to measure string scale length when establishing where the bridge will be attached - specifically where the saddle will be under the strings - and then they compensate (shape) the saddle to each strings 12th fret fretted note and sounded harmonic frequencies. They have to match. This is also known as each string's (adjusted) scale length. That's why you see saddles that have jogs from one string to the next where they make contact. I keep my action low - just above the fretting out (buzz) point - and I use .013-.056 strings. This combination gives me ease of play and with the heavier gauge strings I don't lose as much frequency response due to lowered action. I buy guitars that can handle the higher gauge strings. Some lightly built guitars will not hold their shape very long with heavier gauges constantly in use. Then I install electronics to suit the sound I want and end up with a guitar that loses nothing plugged or unplugged. Of course, I wasted a lot of money experimenting but it was still fun learning.
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Post by melodeous on Jul 3, 2010 21:18:02 GMT -5
Intonation is not adjustable at the nut. It requires reshaping of the saddle or replacing the saddle with one that has been intonated for the guitar. Bob Colossi www.guitarsaddles.com/ can be contacted for an intonated saddle. You can do that yourself if you're handy. It's a pretty simple procedure but takes time and the desire to get it right. Action can be adjusted at both the nut and saddle by deepening the nut slots to help ease fretting in the first position, and shaving the bottom of the saddle for lowering over the length of the F/B. Electric guitar players who have little experience with acoustics typically call acoustic guitar string action (height over the fretboard) crap, ridiculous, poor, etc. Fact is, this is factory set to give the guitar its best sound. Higher action allows the strings to impart a greater frequency response from the top of the guitar, or soundboard as it's alternately called, and it's at it's best with the factory adjusted height. Lowering that action to near-electric guitar action loses much of that frequency response and the guitar will sound weaker, or "thin" by comparison. Of course, if played plugged all the time this is of no consequence and lowering the action doesn't matter. The Epiphone is one example of "horrible" action set at the factory for optimal frequency response. To an acoustic guitarist, electric guitar string height/action is "horrible action" for that reason. Electric guitarists who are schooled in both can attest to this and know they have to work much harder on an acoustic when played unplugged.
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