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Post by lessonsthatrock on Sept 20, 2010 17:16:08 GMT -5
Recently, I've joined this new band, and I'm proud to be in it, it's big fun. Thing is, they've been around for a while, and one of the guys has always been the main songwriter. I too, happen to be a great songwriter, so I think he feels a little threatened by my ability or direction, so he keeps c--k blocking me if you know what I mean.. He asks for ideas, I offer ideas, he says they're great ideas, but then ignores them and doesn't use them in the songs. Has anyone had this experience? How did you deal with it?
Thanks,
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Post by Mojo on Sept 20, 2010 20:14:54 GMT -5
It depends on what you are trying to accomplish and matters more to you. At this stage of my life, I can't be bothered to deal w/ people who are unreliable, not punctual, or have insecurity issues. That's why I am now playing solo gigs, I simply don't want to put up with it anymore. For sure, it's fun to play in a full band, but if it sucks the joy out of playing, then I don't need it.
This said, I believe in open communication in bands. You got a problem, talk about it. More often than not, it's miscommunication and fixed right away. If you don't talk about it, it festers.
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Post by pwfirst on Sept 20, 2010 21:01:30 GMT -5
Hi Lessonsthat rock: I am an old Rocker from the 60's and have been in several groups over the years. My old original group still gets together every 5 years for our high school reunion and we play. Saying that most of the bands are not that much fun after awhile. When you are young and in rock ego's run high, opinion's are only important if they come from you, and you think you are the back bone of the band. The real truth is that every band has a leader that he or she drives the band in a certain direction and the new boy coming in wanting to change that flow/karma/harmony is a real challenge. If you really like the band and the sound and the feeling keep at it and be patient, If your suggestions are really hot the rest of the band will give you support too eventually. If not there are always new bands look for good players.
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Post by 469roadking on Sept 20, 2010 22:00:20 GMT -5
The way we do collaborative writing is this. If you bring a song to the band, its clay for everyone to help mold. Most of the time the lyrics don't change much. But chords and melody and stylistic stuff is gets batted around. Everyone puts in ideas and we decide together what we like best and what fits us best as a band.
Good luck with your problems man.
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Post by lessonsthatrock on Sept 22, 2010 12:39:43 GMT -5
Cool. Thanks for the ideas. Funny enough, the ideas I've presented have been accepted by the drummer and the bassist, it's just the other guitarist/songwriter who has a problem with it. I just came home from band practice last night, and decided I wasn't going to really suggest too much. I basically was a spectator and watched how everyone did their thing. Funny enough, I realized it's not just me. Any suggestion from any member besides the main songwriter pretty much gets shot down. Every thing turns into:
"Well, it's nice but it's fighting with my lyrics", "I can't sing over that", "why don't we just drop that part altogether".
Essentially, he main songwriter/guitarist really only approves parts in the song that he wrote, and for lack of a better phrase, has a fit and a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way.
Anyways... After NOT suggesting a thing last night, of course what am I hearing? "Dude, you haven't said a thing in a half hour, what's your opinion?" " I can tell you don't like what we're doing cause you haven't said anything." And so on...
Egos..
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Post by 469roadking on Sept 23, 2010 12:33:51 GMT -5
You know, I guess every "artist" has a right to his or her creation/vision being all that it is supposed to be. Maybe they would be best suited to it be the "insert singer's name here" band. Let everyone know up front what the vision is and that they want to retain artistic control. Thinking about it I guess I can be a little adamant sometimes about parts being a certain way. If I'm really sure about it. But in the end if my vision for the song doesn't work with everyone else's then I usually give in. (not without an "explanation" of my vision mind you) And I'm not even the primary songwriter in our band. Our production company is Little Boy's Clay Music. It was so named by the primary songwriter in the band because in his words "God gives me the basics of a song and I bring it to the rest of the guys like a little boy brings clay". We get to do our share of shaping. If he is that way with the songs he brings then I have to give in on my ideas as well.
I guess it really boils down to artistic control. If your guy doesn't want to give it then he probably shouldn't ask for opinions and input. Kinda says insecure and controlling at the same time.
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Post by lessonsthatrock on Sept 25, 2010 22:39:07 GMT -5
Yeah. That's kinda how I feel about the situation. I think he is pretty insecure and controlling. Oddly enough, then band is his last name. I didn't think much of it at first, but now I'm starting to think I'll never join another band with someone's name.
Thanks for the encouragement roadking.
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Post by rayden44 on Sept 27, 2010 23:53:23 GMT -5
You're joining an established band by the sounds of things. If you're changing existing songs this can be seen as taking steps backwards as the rest of the band has already learned them - but then I'm kinda baffled why he's asking for input, so obviously thinking something is missing. Record the sessions - we've started doing it and it's a MASSIVE help to find problems.
If you enjoy playing with the guys and the sound is good I'd suggest maybe put your creativity more into a separate project, since it sounds like he's uninterested in collaborating. Otherwise maybe look for a band that isn't so established. It's a heck of a lot more work, but you'll get more input.
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