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Post by leerummey on Jul 3, 2010 14:34:01 GMT -5
tell me your best joke or funniest true story its a tough one lol im still thinking lol will post mine when ive decided until then who's up first .......................?
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Post by 469roadking on Jul 3, 2010 23:08:18 GMT -5
The funniest story I have I can't tell. But it had to do with a gig in North Little Rock in 1983 or 84 and there was a whole bunch of illegal substances and weird hallucinations and a gay chick and Donkey Kong and Ozzy Osbourne and we got our picture on the front page of the Arkansas Gazette the next morning. But we didn't go to jail. And it was pretty funny.
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Post by lesblues on Jul 4, 2010 4:47:01 GMT -5
The funniest story I have I can't tell. But it had to do with a gig in North Little Rock in 1983 or 84 and there was a whole bunch of illegal substances and weird hallucinations and a gay chick and Donkey Kong and Ozzy Osbourne and we got our picture on the front page of the Arkansas Gazette the next morning. But we didn't go to jail. And it was pretty funny. You are not allowed to do that. You can't wet our appetites in that way and just leave us hanging. Come on spill the beans. It'll all be in your autobiography anyway when it comes out. so you may as well tell us now.
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Post by leerummey on Jul 4, 2010 7:36:55 GMT -5
i agree with you les , rk has to elaborate on his story ha ha see above poll lol
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Post by 469roadking on Jul 4, 2010 11:29:31 GMT -5
Believe me guys nothing would give me more pleasure than to spin that tale. But it would have to be a face to face and probably over a pint so I could help you understand all the players. For instance our road manager Big Bob the Grinch who was there and helped me (and quite without malice) chase some poor terrified young girl all around this two story establishment. I just don't think it would translate.
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Post by leerummey on Jul 4, 2010 12:06:23 GMT -5
so where are u in the us then rk ? this story sounds like it might be worth the air fare lol you buy the first pint though lol
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Post by 469roadking on Jul 4, 2010 13:36:44 GMT -5
LOL, deal......and for what it's worth in the story, I'm in the big fat middle of it.
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Post by Happy Jack on Jul 4, 2010 15:19:25 GMT -5
Did someone mention free beer?
Count me in - and Les he will be up for free stuff - he so tight he squeaks when he walks
RK you got plenty of beer tokens for Thirsty Jack?
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Post by lesblues on Jul 4, 2010 15:32:35 GMT -5
Did someone mention free beer? Count me in - and Les he will be up for free stuff - he so tight he squeaks when he walks RK you got plenty of beer tokens for Thirsty Jack? Oh no he's been let loose again. ;D ;D ;D
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Post by 469roadking on Jul 4, 2010 17:21:51 GMT -5
You know, I would bet my last dime that HJ could match every one of my old crazy days band stories with old crazy HJ living life stories. I can smell deranged people from a mile off. ;D
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Post by leerummey on Jul 5, 2010 10:55:58 GMT -5
rk i bet hj could but you wouldnt be trying to deflect peoples attention away from your story now would you ?? lol just glanced at the poll 3 votes and 100% yes at the minute lol
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Post by melodeous on Jul 5, 2010 16:48:58 GMT -5
Quick one liner - "Yea, but besides that how'd you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln?"
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Post by pwfirst on Jul 12, 2010 14:18:41 GMT -5
An old man went into the doctor for a phyical and told the doctor he wanted a sperm count. The doctor told him he didn't need one but the man insisted. The Doctor gave him a container and told him to get the sperm sample and return it to him. The old man came back in and told the doctor he had a hard time, he used his right hand and then his left hand, then his wife used her right hand and then her left hand she tried it with her teeth in and her teeth out ----- but they just couldn't get the cap off.
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Post by lesblues on Jul 13, 2010 4:46:54 GMT -5
A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Starbucks cafe discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well we Greeks built the Parthenon " and arched his eyebrows.
The Scotsman then replies '"Well ... it was the Scots that discovered universal standard time."
The Greek retorts 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Scotsman, nodding in agreement says, "Scots were the ones who invented Logarithms and the Gregorian telescope."
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!"
The Scotsman replies "Aye that is true but it was we Scots who introduced it to the women!"
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Post by Happy Jack on Jul 13, 2010 11:53:39 GMT -5
Man walks in and find his wife naked on the bed rubbing some cream into her breasts
"What you doing?" he says
"Rubbing this cream on my breasts to make them bigger" she says
"How much was the cream?" he asked
"£50 a bottle" she replies
"Blimey I could have saved you a fortune all you need to do is rub two pieces of toilet paper on your breasts twice a day" he says
"Will it work?" she replies . . . . . . . . . . . "Well it did on your arse" He replies
What do you call a dog with no tongue? Dirty bollocks
Why do dogs like their genitalia? Because they can
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